Dannye Williamsen, Author
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How Do You Eat An Elephant?

3/10/2015

 
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So much has been written about goals that I hate to even bring up the subject; however, there is an approach toward goals that can create obstacles rather than support forward progress. Let me explain.

Lack Of Clarity Not Uncommon

Often there is great emphasis put on long term goals. You are asked to define them specifically and hold tight to this image. This is just fine if you have tremendous clarity about what you want. If you are young and preparing for your higher education, and you know that you want to be a doctor of pediatrics and practice in a small town, then congratulations on your clarity!

However, most of us find ourselves over the years in situations that are not so clear. Let’s say that you are working in a job that doesn’t challenge you or even utilize your skills or strengths. You have never trained for a specific field, but you are a quick study. You have never met a challenge in any field you’ve encountered that you couldn’t handle. You’re sick of the job you’re in, and you want something that will bring out your passions. You have thought and thought, but you can’t figure out what job or field would allow you to use your skills and excite you.

So, how do you set a specific long term goal when you’re that unclear? You don’t. You can set a goal, but it has to outline your emotional and intellectual desires and not how they would manifest in the real world. You can desire a position where you can utilize your skills (write them out) and where you can be innovative. You can desire one about which  you can be excited every day. It is good to establish these features of the position you desire; however, anything else at this point will only serve to separate you from your good. Forcing yourself to fill in the blanks is like trying to push a round peg into a square hole. It doesn’t work, and it won’t attract your true heart’s desire.

One Bite At A Time

There’s a joke that asks, how do you eat an elephant? Answer: one bite at a time. The same is true for goals, which means that the best approach when you lack clarity is to create clear short term goals. This is akin to “putting one foot in front of the other.” Take the most important of your skills, the one you enjoy doing the most, and begin doing research to find out how this skill is used in the marketplace. Stay with this short term goal until you feel a greater connection between your skill and the job market. Continue to refine your options by researching each of the skills you feel are important to your broad, long term goal until you home in on the possibilities. Then you are in a position to fill in the blanks in your long term goal with specifics that resonate with you.

My example was job-related, but the principle works in our day-to-day as well. Unless you have absolute clarity about what you want, don’t force yourself into a corner with artificial desires. Make sure they resonate with both your intellectual and emotional desires, and never be embarrassed by lack of clarity about something. Just take it one bite at a time. 


You Have A Right Not To Flip Out!

3/5/2015

 
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I knew this guy once who was always angry. If I carried on a conversation with him, I would find myself getting angry. I finally had to admit that I enjoyed being around him because he made me feel angry. It felt really good to be angry; it made me feel more alive. 

So, here’s the deal, anger has a certain attracting power because it needs it to survive. Outer circumstances that can stir up feelings of anger are actually feeding it if we give in to the feelings. Like anything else that is alive, the anger within us needs food.   

Anger, like all emotions, knows how to survive. It has an innate intelligence. It defends itself by using our intellect to rationalize that anger doesn't harm us, that anger is just a natural reaction when someone crosses us. When we succumb to this brainwashing, anger would do a happy dance if it could because we have just given it a “shot in the arm,” so to speak. We have diverted our energies to support it. 

There are no accidents. Anger does serve a purpose, but it is not to attack the people or circumstances out there. Instead, we need to separate from the world of experience and take a hard look at this borrowed emotion called anger. As I said, it is what is drawing those outer circumstances to us that are supposedly making us angry. In the Bible, it says to “love those whom you hate or do you harm.” Why do you suppose that is? It is because these persons give us the opportunity to pull anger out into the light and take a good look at it. 

I am no different than anyone else on this planet, but I do want to make the best use of the time while I am here. One of the things I can do is recognize that anger is an emotion that I borrowed from the example of those around me when I was young and accepted as part of who I am. In truth, it blocks my ability to create a better life, whether that is emotionally, mentally, or physically.

So what would you be like if no person, place, or experience could make you angry? I don’t know, but don’t you think it would be an interesting experience? Just the idea that you could decide what person, place, or experience has the power to make you angry would be a MindSlap! Would you be the same person you currently see in the mirror? 

None of us has a full knowledge of the power of choice, but wouldn't it be interesting to see what would happen if you lived your life expressing this power? Rather than flipping out, you would more likely demonstrate the message in the song “Don’t Worry. Be Happy!”


Is Service A Lost Art?

3/3/2015

 
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Has the value of service been lost over the years?  I think so. This loss becomes especially evident when I go to a restaurant  and the waiters act as if they are doing me a favor to take my order. Have you ever experienced waiters who are so locked up in chatting among themselves that when they’re forced to serve you, the look on their faces makes it clear that you are simply a nuisance? Maybe you’ve taken your car to be repaired, and the mechanic repairs the wrong thing. Whose fault is it? Ours, of course! What about the pharmaceutical companies who are supposed to be serving the greater good and yet, they take no responsibility and have no concern about the risks to their customers as long as their bottom line is lucrative.

Service no longer means what it did at one time. Today, it seems to mean doing as little as possible and getting as much as possible for it. Unfortunately, there’s a price to pay for this for the person who thinks this way, but also for the ones of us who have to put up with this skewed perspective.

Years ago in grade school our teachers taught us the dangers of being a Me First person. They said that this attitude was driven by selfishness, and selfishness does not care how it disturbs or affects anyone else. They taught that the  consequences of living life with this self-centered attitude was to become a loser in the things that really matter.  Although my didn’t say this and perhaps didn’t even realize it, she was teaching us the way of being in harmony with the natural order of experiences by having the right attitude.

So what difference does it make if we’re in harmony with the natural order of experiences or not? Well, it isn’t about philosophy; it’s about the quality of the experiences that you will attract to yourself if you continue to act selfishly. Life is energy, and energy attracts its own vibration.

If you want to spend your life fighting for what you want, keep on taking the Me First approach, and you will have to literally force what you desire into your experience and use the same Me First energy to keep it there.  

So, can a Me First person change? Sure. Everyone can change, but it won’t happen in a flash. I am not going to lie to you: a Me First attitude is usually such an habitual way of being that when it goes into action, it is like a soft breeze that you don’t even notice. Shifting from this attitude will take time, but it will change your life.

If we all take stock of ourselves and eliminate the selfish personality within us, it would change the world. Don’t jump to conclusions, though, and think I’m talking about the need for each of us to work steadfastly on improving ourselves as being a selfish act in itself. It isn't. It’s only when you are looking out for your interests without concern at all for others that it is selfish.

© Williamsen

Shuck The Voices In Your Head

2/21/2015

 
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Our minds have so much power. They can shift our mood in a nanosecond from happy to sad and just as quickly send us down the rabbit hole into feeling morose. It can convince us that we are not qualified to be writers or painters or mechanics or technicians or doctors or physicists. How does this happen? Are we not in charge of our minds? 

Of course, we are! The problem is that we don't seem to realize it. We let ourselves be convinced that the random thoughts created by past experiences have more power than we do. So we give in to them. We think it's some spirit whispering in our ear or our intuition. It is in fact a bunch of baloney! 

If we want to do something, AND if we move our feet to accomplish the things or the training necessary in the physical world, AND if we don't let the "voices in our heads" get in the way of our rational thought processes, AND if we don't give up, we can take charge of our minds and accomplish wondrous things. In that process, we are changed because we now know we have the power within us to reach for the goals we desire in our lives. 

Looking at the picture accompanying this post, I have to say that, in reality, our minds have more power than our hands because our mind directs our hands.

© Williamsen


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